Relationships end. Sometimes the messages don't. Texts at two in the morning, calls from new numbers, posts about you, a friend passing along "just one more thing." Usually nobody is in danger and you simply want it to stop without going to court. That is the situation a cease and desist letter was built for.
If your ex has threatened you, followed you, turned up uninvited where you live or work, or you are afraid, skip the letter. A letter can provoke someone dangerous. Call 911 in an emergency. Because the two of you were in an intimate relationship, Family Court can hear your case as a family offense proceeding (Family Court Act § 812), and a judge can issue a temporary order of protection, often on the day you file. Criminal court, after a police report, is the other door.
Four things should be true. The contact is unwanted but not threatening. You have already told them to stop, in words, at least once. You know where to send mail or email. And what you want is quiet, not money. If all four hold, a letter from counsel is usually the cheapest way to get it.
It works for a simple reason. Your own "please stop" sounds like the relationship still talking. A lawyer's letter sounds like the end of it. It tells your ex that the next message is no longer part of a conversation but evidence, and that repeated contact meant to alarm or seriously annoy someone is harassment under New York's Penal Law (§ 240.26).
Who it comes from and who it goes to. The contact, specifically: dates, phone numbers, accounts, one message quoted exactly. The demand: no calls, texts, emails, direct messages, or messages relayed through friends and family. If they have posted false things about you, a demand to delete them. A deadline. What happens if it continues. It should not argue about the relationship, assign blame for the breakup, or say anything you would not want a judge to read.
A letter cannot cut off contact that a custody order allows. If you co-parent, the letter should carve out communication about the children and route it through one channel, such as a co-parenting app or a single email address. If you still share a lease, a car or a pet, the letter can name the one way to handle it. A blanket "never contact my client" in those situations starts a fight you don't need.
Reply to nothing. Not to agree, not to explain, not to say goodbye. Block where you can, but screenshot first. Keep a dated log of every contact after delivery; with the letter, that log is what a Family Court petition or a police report will rest on if your ex ignores it.
The harassment cease and desist letter is $499 flat, drafted and signed by a New York attorney and sent by USPS Certified Mail and email within 48 hours. Unsure which tool fits? The 60-second letter or order check sorts it, and the cease and desist page covers the rest.
Yes. When the contact is unwanted but not threatening, a letter from counsel that lists the contact and demands it stop is often enough. If there are threats or you are afraid, go to Family Court or the police instead.
No. A letter is a private demand that binds no one. An order of protection is a court order, and violating it can lead to arrest.
Stop replying and keep a dated log. Contact that continues after a written demand to stop can support a Family Court petition or a harassment complaint to the police.
It can demand deletion of false statements of fact. Opinions and true statements, however unkind, generally stay up.